My name is Cory Weidner. I am 26 years old and from McAlester, Ok(known as MethAlester).

I didn't come from a Christian home, most of my family are alcoholics and drug addicts. My mother divorced my real father when I was four. Drug use was fluent in my home and in the open. I was eleven when I started smoking pot. After my mom caught me smoking pot in my closet I started smoking with them in the home. The first time I was introduced to Meth, or Crank I shot it intravenously. I was only fourteen years old. Even as a addict I was able to graduate high school with a 3.98 GPA, and received many awards and ribbons. I received an art scholarship and was hired to work for Hallmark greeting cards. But once again my addictions overtook my goals, I dropped out and quit my job. I was doing more and more Meth. I also used Cocaine, LSD, and Ecstasy. The one thing I can actually say is I never tried Heroine. I would be deeply depressed at many, many times and I would lacerate my wrist and had to get mental evaluation. I would listen for a little bit, think I was fine and then start doing dope again.  Well, I'm 26 now, shot dope for 12 years, found myself in jail facing 20 years. Little did I know my grandmother prayed for me to go to jail out of love for me. While I was in their I met some beautiful people, received the Holy Ghost. I am now enrolled to go to a Christian Faith based rehab called Teen Challenge. I've heard they have a great success rate. I have to thank my heavenly Father God for what He has done for me. I have a great relationship with my family and I would like to become a missionary. Without Jesus I would be lost for eternity. So I first thank Him for loving me when no one else wanted to. Andy & Paula Woods, Joe & Krista Pink would come by the County Jail and minister. They have founded ' Break Free Ministry ' for Meth abuse and other drug abuse. They have open their home to me and given me a second chance in life. Through them I gave my life to the Lord.

Greetings in the name of Jesus, most of the time when one expresses or gives one's testimony, you expect that person to be in their teens or 20's or if their real old in their 30's.  But in fact I was in my 40's with two grown children and a career in nursing as an R.N.

Think it can't happen to you?  If you are reading this and are 40 or more think again. 

I was a Christian serving God, going to church and let myself be pulled away somewhat gradually, but snatched into sin nevertheless.  I was living in Rio Grande Valley in Arlington Tx, had a great job, great apartment and two new cars.

I had married an ex-con and thought that he was legit, and through with drugs and that lifestyle.  But very quickly our lives began to deteriorate.  He smoked pot, popped pills, and drank, but my drug of choice was rock crystal, which was very easy to get, and not that expensive at first.    

Well, you already know the scenario and soon we lost everything, he was abusive mentally and physically.  I lost my job, our two cars, and almost my life.  He went back to prison for armed robbery and I scornfully came back home with my life and one suitcase on a bus.

Now after about tens years I can truthfully say that I stopped feeling guilty, living in the past, wanting to die everyday.  I had asked forgiveness for being led astray, the Lord forgave me, but I couldn't forgive myself.

It's been a lot longer climb than it was down.  You never think or imagine that you can get into a right relationship with God, immediately when you confess your sin and ask forgiveness.  But it takes years for that fleshly stuff to break off of you and a lot of prayer lines.

But I stuck it out through tough times knowing that God was a God of restoration, the god of second, third or how ever many chances you might need to grow up into Him. 

The wages of sin is death and it would have been if a loving heavenly father had not been there for me.  As I very humbly and guilt-ridden, reached out for the only one I knew that could help me.  Don't think it was easy, when you get down that far, and hit bottom that hard, to just say well, God forgive me.

Don't be deceived, it's hard to say and hard to get back when you realize that you have wronged Jesus, the one who loves you most. 

I would like to share a couple of scriptures that helped me begin my journey back to Jesus. 

Isaiah 41:10 ( Amp)  Fear not; [there is nothing to fear] for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you with my victorious right hand of rightness and justice.

Isaiah 41:13  For I, the Lord your God hold your right hand, I, who say to you, fear not, I will help you!

Isaiah 43:19  Behold I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it?  I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

The Lord will help you also on your journey back to him.  Even if you stumble and fall the Lord will raise you up.  Just don't give up on God, He will not give up on you.. ever !

Don't listen to the voice that tells you, see, your doing the same thing you said you would never do again.  You can't live for Jesus, who do you think your kidding.  God doesn't help hypocrites, and that's what you are, you know.  It's too hard to live your life without drugs (or what ever your sin is).  God doesn't want you back, your dirty now. 

Do not listen to that voice.  He's a liar.  God does want you with all your short comings and all your faults.  He loves you in all that you do.  Do not even give up and you will make it.   YOU WIN.

So, there I was, sitting in a church pew watching what I can only describe as some very enthusiastic people singing and dancing all over the church. I thought to myself,

These are nice people but I don't fit. I'm the drug dealer, bounty hunter, meanest-dog-in-the-yard. I don't really need any of this. And that little voice in my head(the one you don't want to listen to and won't acknowledge) says, "They won't accept you.".

The months drift by... upon reflection, miserably. Not only do the drugs not work anymore but I got sicker and sicker every time I did some... more and more and more.

A new emotion pops up. Anger!!

Another new one. Fear!!!

Then Depression.

That list I made myself in defiance of quitting... all those things " I would quit for"... were here in spades. So I quit and it was a brutal, lonely experience.

You CAN NOT do it by yourself.

We are in the truck headed for an ounce or two in town. They can't get it without me and I'm weak. Here we go. I look up and we're at the Dollar Tree. For what?

I go in and there stands Paula. Out of my mouth comes, "I want to go to church if you'll have me."

And she did. And I did. And here we are.

Glory to God. Jesus saves.

More later,

"Animal" Guy V. England, Jr.